Frankly, we did win the election, and we will be back in office by August. There’s no way we didn’t win Georgia! And they are finding thousands of votes. Thousands of votes in New Hampshire! The votes—there were so many fraudulent votes. Everybody knows it. The rigged election was the biggest fraud ever.
So says Lord Butternuts. It’s one of his core beliefs. If the so-called facts don’t support my victory, then the facts must be wrong. We can make up our own facts, because there are alternative facts.
It would have been so easy if Little Loser Brad just found the 11,780 votes like I asked. I mean, give me a break, fellas.
Some very special people walked down to the Capitol on January 6. They were very special. I call them very special people. The fake media call it an insurrection. Some people say it was Antifa. Maybe it was Antifa.
Loser Mike could have done the right thing. All he had to do—and we win the election! All he had to do was send it back to the states to recertify. Because the people are angry. You know it. Everyone knows it! It was a totally rigged election. So you have to send it back. But Mike didn’t come through.
There are a lot of angry people. The real people. I call them patriots. The real people. But Loser Mike didn’t come through for us. And it’s so sad. He didn’t do the one simple thing to save our country. So sad. You’re sworn to uphold our Constitution. You have to be strong. You have to show strength.
There are some great Republicans who are willing to fight for our country, but there are too many weak Republicans. It’s incredible. I call them weak Republicans. But you know? We will vote them out. Vote them out. The weak Republicans.
The great ones, The Devoted Ones, you might call them Devoted Ones. The ones who show strength, because you’ve got to protect our election integrity. Because it’s under assault. It’s outrageous!
The Devoted Ones must stand up for election integrity. We can’t let the Democrats get away with election fraud. Stop them from tearing down our Constitution. The Devoted Ones, you have to stand up for our great country and make our great country great again.
The Devoted Ones, the real Republicans. Because there’s so much fraud. We can’t allow it to happen again. An now the Democrat Party—those people want to engage in a totally fake partisan witch-hunt phony investigation of a so-called insurrection. About what happened when some incredible patriots. Everybody knows what happened. Good people showed extraordinary love for this country, this amazing country, by walking down, to the Capitol. It was beautiful. And I love them. Special people. It’s love. Amazing love.
Now they want to federalize our elections, and we are not going to let that happen, let me tell you. As long as the Democrats are in power, and it never should have been allowed to happen. Now they want to let Crazy Stacey dictate and take the elections away from the states. It’s unconstitutional, and it’s not going to stand. We won’t let them rig the elections again. The Devoted Ones will see to that.
And we will not allow them to mandate—some people want to mandate what’s happening in our schools. They want to require our schools to teach children to be ashamed to be White. Little children in Kindergarten and First Grade. And that’s not right. We know it and you know it. That’s not how we love our country. We won’t let them do that to our children.
Because we are the chosen one. And we say watch out for 2022. Something very big is going to happen in 2022. That’s when we take back our country. Because it was stolen by rigged elections. But we are rounding the turn. All the fake media know it, but they aren’t reporting it. They are weak and they are scared. They want to pretend it isn’t happening, but we know better. We know it’s big. And it is going to happen and it will be—it’s going to be the biggest thing that anyone has ever seen before.
[This is, obviously, a work of fiction. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is pure coincidence.]
Visits: 645
Some other stuff for later,
- 73The 2020 election is fifteen months away, and already the Democrats are intent on deciding how best to lose. There is general agreement among the two dozen or so candidates that any one of them would be a far better president than the one we’ve got now. Yet, their collective…
- 72Dear Dolores, Sorry I haven’t written in a while. Just because I haven’t written doesn’t mean that I haven’t thought about you, because I often do. I just get caught up in the day-to-day stuff and it’s hard to find a time to sit down and try to compose a…
- 69In a speech on January 5 near Valley Forge, Pennsylvania, Joe Biden drew focus to the thread that gives vitality to his re-election campaign and, in no small measure, to his presidency. If his 2020 campaign was framed as a battle for the soul of America, 2024 may determine America’s…
Sadly, you need the disclaimer at the end in case some Big Lie loyalist stumbles across Later, Comma and mistakes your satire for a genuine message from Dear Leader. It’s uncanny how well you have captured the looney lingo. You probably could program a robot to be Donald Trump. Maybe he is one.